NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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