3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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