____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
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