is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
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