I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
Randomize
