seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
