It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
