im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
