We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
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