you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
