If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
