What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize