He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I am spending my child support on dildos
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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