ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
