i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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