Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
