Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Randomize
