weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Let's get the cat blown out
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
