oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
