How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Randomize
