just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
