Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
