Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
"Wine night with the girls" turned into me having to set an alarm in the bathtub this morning...
My breasts were aching with rage.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
