she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
