some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Randomize
