I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
