Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
