I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Randomize
