i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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