All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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