Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
