last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
