Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
