so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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