Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
