Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
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