1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
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