I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
