It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Randomize
