Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
