I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
