You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
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