Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Febreezed myself at a stop light on the way to the IRS office. Judgmental glare from some old lady in the car next to me, thumbs up from her husband.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
