we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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