god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Randomize
