didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize
