Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Ladies don't puke and tell
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
