i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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