We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Randomize
