He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
