You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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