No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I will pee on everything he values.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
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