apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
