If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Man, I thought my dick was gonna fall off.
Dude, I didn't even think they made slap bracelets anymore. You okay?
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
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