I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
