i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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