We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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