I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
