i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
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