You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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